It was the “I’m in pain” cry, and it stole my breath. As I bolted to my daughter on the other side of the house, I began blaming myself for the encounter.
Moments earlier, my son had spotted a poorly hidden toy that grandma had surprised him with months ago. Now there was pain, tears, and guilt.
Somewhere along the way, my life had turned into a game of Clue: It was my son…in the front bathroom…with the plastic purple pistol.
—
If you’re not careful, parenthood can make you foolish. You’ll begin to believe crazy things…like your child will never become fascinated with guns. But I have a little boy, and he likes to emulate other little boys.
And nothing, I mean nothing, prepares you for when the gun – made from two toddler fingers – is pointed at you. The expression on my son’s face confirmed his intentions. I held my ground.
“No sir. We do not threaten harm!”
Looking back, I don’t know how I formed the words amidst the paralyzing shock. To be honest, it was my pride that suffered most. How could my perfect boy do such a thing? And, most vainly, am I to blame?
And right there – in the middle of our living room rug, our family’s hearth – I had to shatter the illusion of innocence that was hiding my son.
“We do not play with guns.”
No response.
“Guns are for hunting.”
No response. I knew this was my last chance.
“Do you want to hurt Mommy?”
[Insert head shake and pouted lip here]
“I’m sorry, Mommy.” The breakthrough.
—
Sometimes it’s easy to forget that our children don’t have our mature, educated minds. They are strongly influenced by their peers, even when you limit screen time – even when you pour all of your free time into them.
But I tell myself this is part of the process, the really hard part. Kids, after all, were born to try on new perspectives. And I know in their lives, my voice has a place. I can’t protect my son from the world, but I can prepare him for it.
I don’t know when the next “gun” will appear, but I have to trust that my son is listening – that we are equipping him to make good decisions.
And, one day, when his great trial comes, I hope our love echoes in his ears: Put down the gun.
Unlearning 
Thanks for sharing this. It touched my heart. I think you had the right approach to the situation and all we can do is to do our best and give love, a lot of love. 😊
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Thank you for the kind words. Loving no matter what – this is what it means to parent. I am always amazed at how I grow with my children 🙂 I really appreciate the encouragement!
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