Go, Sell, and Give*

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It all felt like a drug deal gone bad.

There I was, in the dark of night, driving to a gas station to meet someone I barely knew. An exchange was to occur.

Only, this time, I was the supplier.

Motherhood will make you do crazy things.

Just two days prior, my night had begun innocently enough. My mission? To pick up a few essentials from Walmart and return home by 10 p.m.

But my watch read 9:56. I wouldn’t make it. Just then, a young woman’s voice interrupted my mental fog in the middle of the ladies section.

“Excuse me. I know you’re not in this phase of life yet, but which one would you pick?” And, with that, a pregnant stranger no older than 20 years old placed two maternity support belts into my hands.

Is this real life?

For a moment, I was transported back in time. I remember wrestling with such decisions when I was pregnant with my son. We lived in California then, which was a cross-country plane ride from every member of my family. I knew I couldn’t abandon her need. I had once walked in those shoes.

“This is the one I would have gone with,” I explained after thanking her for the generous assumption she had made about my age.

But the conversation didn’t end there. With every word she spoke, I saw a vulnerability that needed comfort, encouragement for the months ahead. She is a restaurant hostess and currently living with her child’s father – about two hours from her closest family. Her outfit, she confessed, was her boyfriend’s, as she no longer possessed clothing that could accommodate her growing body.

Conviction.

Earlier this month, I discovered several bottle-related items that I will never use as a mother. We do not plan to have any more children, and I am already well into weaning my daughter. The $300 breast pump that I insisted on purchasing over three years ago? Never opened. And I have been haunted by this poor financial choice ever since.

I only knew this woman for 10 minutes, but Jesus started stirring in my heart.

“I have a brand new breast pump that I have been looking to give to a new mother. Could I share it with you?”

Her eyes filled with tears.

And so, two days later, I drove. When I spotted a little blue Honda, any second thoughts I harbored dissipated.

The exchange was nothing short of beautiful. I offered the young woman a few unused baby items as well as the pump, and she excitedly placed them in her car. Perhaps my greatest gift of all, however, was time.

For nearly 15 minutes – amid noxious honking and fumes – we chatted as any two mothers might. Fears. Hopes. Dreams. Pain. I think we covered it all.

Right before we parted, she shared with me that her boyfriend initially wasn’t sure if I could be trusted. It was the first time I had ever considered that someone may fear me because of my skin color.

But, in our parting, there was no bad blood – only peace, transferred through a fist bump (her choice).

And all the guilt I held onto for those three years with an unused, expensive device?

God, in only His power, used it for good.

*Matthew 19:21

7 thoughts on “Go, Sell, and Give*

  1. I love how your common denominator was greater than any other difference you may have had with this woman.

    The verse is wonderful because it’s not saying we’re evil because of desire for treasure. Instead, Jesus wants us to transfer our desire to a greater, longer-lasting treasure.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Parenting has this really amazing ability of equalizing us – we all need overwhelming love and encouragement, regardless of our differences. Indeed, we only lack when we are called to respond and choose not to. It’s incredible to see how He can use it all for good, even when we feel idle in defeat.

      Liked by 1 person

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