In every parenting journey, there is a moment when the unthinkable happens.
You decide to stop having children.
For our family, the curtain call came five months after our daughter was born. No more babies. Slowly, our lives adjusted, my body mostly returned, and our careers settled.
But a question has increasingly haunted me: Now what?
If you’re an older Millennial perhaps this sounds familiar? You work hard in school, in the workplace, in the fertility grind. You dream, dream, and dream of the perfect life with the brick McMansion and the white picket fence.
And, poof!, one day you realize that you are no longer in want.
But you belong to a generation that could never grasp contentment, even if it were the latest social media craze. It seems for those of us who have found security, we don’t know how to be still.
There is another identity to brand to Facebook.
There is another empty product to purchase.
There is another device to escape reality.
But I have come to this strange place in life where I am ready to slow down – to, dare I say, be grateful for what I don’t have: the job that steals my motherhood; the husband who lusts for power; the children who long for attachment.
The pathway to moving forward, however, is anything but clear. What drives you when the big stuff is already within reach?
I may be an adult, but I still feel like a child at times. The world remains scary. Risks mean carrying the weight of two little people now. Luckily, my husband readily assists.
And when we feel unnecessarily entitled, our kids – with the most expectant blue eyes – wake us up to responsibility.
You’re here. The day is new. We need you.
And suddenly adulthood doesn’t feel so bad.
One Year Ago: The Last Eleven Pounds