You Can Do This


“You can do this.” It’s become a mantra in our relationship.

First, it was sweet encouragement my husband and I whispered to one another during our tenure in graduate school. Eventually, we walked across the stage – just minutes apart.

Next, it was yelled by my husband over intense labor pains. Truthfully, I thought our children might be stuck forever. Eventually, two little people entered the world.

And, just this weekend, I found myself mentally replaying the words.

For the first time, we trusted a non-grandparent caregiver to put both children to bed.

Somewhere in the midst of our increasingly demanding academic careers, our kids have grown in their autonomy.

They no longer cry at our departure. They wave good-bye.

They no longer require our presence in play. They entertain one another.

But just as I started to savor conversation at the party, I felt the dreaded vibration: a text. I stole away to the bathroom. My heart could resist no longer.

“I wanted to let you know they are in bed. All is good in the household.”

[insert smiling emoji here]

I think there is a deep fear we all possess that, no matter the investment we’ve made, our children won’t thrive without us.

But they can.

But they will.

And, if you’re very lucky, that same person who gives you the strength to hold on will give you the peace to let go.

::today’s daily inspiration::

One Year Ago: Time: The Missing Ingredient

5 thoughts on “You Can Do This

  1. Thirty some years ago when our first-born son was only a week old, my husband was being awarded with a huge honor from his employer at their Christmas banquet. It was always a well-kept secret who would win this, so he didn’t know. And because we had a new-born, he didn’t plan to attend. Someone high-up in the organization called me to urge me to get him to go. She finally hat to spill the beans about the award to get me on-board. Then, I had the task of convincing him to go without telling him why, but he wouldn’t go without me. I wasn’t go to take a newborn to huge gathering of people, so in the end, I told him and we had a co-worker babysit Philip for a very short time. (We were living far from family at that point.) I’ll never forget leaving that precious little bundle in someone else’s arms, but God knew I would have trouble letting go and forced me to start early on.

    Great post. You have a wonderful family.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. What a beautiful story! I have found that external pressure for a night out can sometimes be a healthy (and welcome) change of pace. We, too, had a similar incident with our first child. It all worked out 🙂 For myself, the letting go is never easy but it gives me the confidence and peace to know I have the strength to let go, even if I’m still holding onto my husband in the process…

      Liked by 1 person

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