Just before I turned 26, I miscarried our first child. I let the darkness carry me away for many months.
My husband and I weren’t in a position to pursue pregnancy. And I felt like a failure.
The economy seemed to be enduring similar pains, and even the nearby Books-A-Million was closing.
But I couldn’t resist the kids section and all the multicolored books on clearance.
Where, Oh Where Is Huggle Buggle Bear? caught my eye…and my heart.
For $3.97 I stored my dream on a shelf in the back – tucked away where not even my husband could see.
Last night, more than five years later, my daughter and I made it through the entire book for the first time.
And, in that moment, I swear I was reading for two children – the one in my arms and the one hidden forever in the pages of a silly story.
*For more adventures, follow Lauren on Facebook and Twitter.
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One Year Ago: Preschool vs. Teenager Mom
Unlearning 
This really moved me. A beautiful story. I am familiar with this kind of loss and have travelled on this road also. My wife and I bought a cute green dragon and it sat in the washing basket by the side of our bed, hoping that a child would come into its life and eventually after much pain we had two beautiful children but we never forget the ones that left even before they could arrive. Thanks for sharing.
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Your experience gave me chills. Thank you for sharing. We also went on to have two healthy children. The one we lost, however, will forever remain with me. I hope that green dragon has been well used and loved 🙂
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His name is Ralph and he still sits at the bottom my son’s bed, thank you.
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Beautiful post! God bless you!
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Thank you for the kinds words, Jerome!
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Yes ma’am!
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Beautiful Story! Very touching!
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Thank you. I pray it will bring encouragement and healing!
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Lovely and heartfelt story. ❤
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I’m so glad you made your own connection. Thank you!
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How wonderful that you were able to share the story with your daughter- and that you have that remembrance (painful though it may be.) It’s such a hard thing- when I’m gathering up our brood I still sometimes find myself looking for the one we didn’t get to meet. And now I’m all teary… 🙂 Thank you for sharing this.
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I like to think a part of healing is holding on and – if we get to be so lucky – seeing a piece of that little spirit live on in our kids. I look forward to sharing this story (and, of course, so many others) with mine one day 🙂
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What a lovely post!
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Thank you for the kind words!
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Simply beautiful…
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Thank you so much. When you write about painful seasons, it’s always nice to know others have made their own meaning from your experience ❤️
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