The holding on – isn’t it so much easier to let go?
Over the last year, I have been fighting – psychologically, at least – to stay encouraged.
Confessions of a Scholar Mom
The holding on – isn’t it so much easier to let go?
Over the last year, I have been fighting – psychologically, at least – to stay encouraged.
The Gratitude Gospel. Okay, so I made it up. But this is a new theme I am exploring in my blog.
You see, life has been rainy lately. And not in the “kids splashing in the rain” kind of way.
We sold our home.
We are renting a cabin in the woods outside of town.
And the university that employees my husband and myself is in the midst of a consolidation.
I was running late, which isn’t new, but I had never been so tardy to yoga. Twelve minutes had been forfeited, and I almost heard my body cry out in defeat when I settled into the mat.
Over the next 45 minutes, I really questioned my entire existence. My arms and legs were feeble, my concentration was muddled, and the outfit I had selected most certainly flashed the nearby maintenance worker during an inspired downward dog. Oops.
The truth is, I was unprepared for the consequences of being late. I’ve been doing yoga for years, but every session is unique, as is every teacher.
After I attempted my fourth new-to-me position, I felt my forehead hit the mat.
I’m tired of being an adult.
“You’re so hipster.”
If you are a mother who prides herself on being countercultural, this statement stings a little. I proceeded to shoot my husband the look.
“Well, you are wearing a fedora.”
Truth. Earlier that day, I had purchased my very first non-winter – dare I say fashionable – hat. It seemed like the perfect item to hide my exhaustion long enough to survive an evening of carnival fun in my hometown.
Only I didn’t plan for the rain.
It is a myth that parents enjoy every single moment that they are afforded with their children. Personally, my breaking point each day is bath time.
Piles of stories have been read. Balanced meals have been eaten and, mostly, not thrown at Mom. And, somehow, I have been able to hold it together.
Just when I feel like a victor, my husband runs the bathwater.
Do you hear that?
Yes, it is my soul…crying from fatigue.